Snowflake Challenge #9: The past is in the past?

[aquietjune]

I'm back. I made a commitment to this journal for the next months, but I admit I'm getting a bit overwhelmed with all the things. Sometimes everything is so incredible that I can't even understand how it can exist in this universe, with me being a witness; some other times I feel that everything is futile. I want to rewire my brain into remembering that fandom -- and many things in life -- can be done just for fun, but heh, we live here.

Challenge #9

In your own space, celebrate a personal win from the past year: it can be a list of fanworks you're especially proud of, time you spent in the community, a quality or skill you cultivated in yourself, something you generally feel went well. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

One thing that regularly happens at the start of the new year is that I renounce every single thing that I've done in the past 12 months. Not necessarily because I hate those things now, but because I feel that since those things are in the past, they no longer matter, or they do not matter enough. Recency bias, I guess.

This mindset, however, hurts me in many ways--when I'm feeling down it's very easy for me not to remember any of the things I should be happy about, the things I know I can do even if I'm not doing them now, because what I learned to do is not lost, nor what I experienced.

So, let this post be a reminder of some of the things I did in 2022 that are valuable, even now. Even those things that are just "fandom" or creative things done "just for fun" (and not to open an Etsy shop or anything of the sort).

• the multi-chapter fic I'm writing is the longest and the most complex piece of fiction I've ever committed to: to write it, to plan it, to world build. No, it's not complete yet, and I gather that I'm somewhere in the middle of the first draft, but I still started writing it in 2022, working regularly on it (full immersion in the first months and now at about 1 chapter per month advancement, although right now I'm in a new planning phase). I'm worried because time is limited and sometimes motivation falters, but I still consider it a win.

• I learned how to sew tridimensional plushie toys. Highly recommended patterns & video tutorials: TSMinibears

• I had the realization that not just fandom, but the Internet as a whole cannot be lost in the sea of privately-owned social media. It's not just about having control of my data & the way I want to present them, but also of the quality of conversations and the approach to dialogue. The IndieWeb and Yesterweb movements really made me reflect on this and now I want to have a website. It's also the reason I decided to try to be on Dreamwidth. A lot of the disconnect I felt on fandom twitter is due to the lack of engagement with valuable discussions because of the search for the other type of "engagement". I want to go back to the former. (Project: go back to the good old HTML and CSS and make a website).

• About this, I participated in three fandom events and also in some RPG events and I learned that I cannot just do things to please others--that will not give me satisfaction or happiness. At most I get a burnout. Be mindful of the things I choose to occupy my (very limited) time with.

• However I also ran a fan event for a very minor character -- Mrs. Kirstein Week -- and I was amazed by the participation. Sometimes twitter fandom is also good.

• Also I took part in other RPG or RPG-related events that were meaningful, satisfying and fun.

• I've done my first cosplay this year and I did it in a group with my BFF -- I went as Anya from Spy x Family and my friend went as Yor. It was really fun and I want to do more now!

• I have published many fics last year. If I need to choose one I'm proud about, I'll go with Princess and Prince of the Great Escape, a quiet story about a first (accidental?) date between Armin and Annie (Shingeki no Kyojin). It's a story that gave me several headaches, and many scenes I've rewritten multiple times. It's not perfect, but I'm glad I managed to complete it, even if it was so difficult.

And that's it, from what I could recall. Let's see what I will make this year :)

Thanks for reading.

Comments

[aquietjune]

I think things done "just for fun" can be and are some of the most valuable things you can do for yourself.

I agree. Possibly the only way there is to escape the hellscape where everything has to be monetized. :(

Personally I was too shy with my English to participate to the lj community back in the day, but I understand where you're coming from. I also joined tumblr very early... before it had reblogs xD but then I got out of fandom for a long time, or rather I just stayed in the "book community", until the pandemic hit. It's cool to be back, and some platforms are very alive, the problem is that they really adopt all of those dysfunctional dynamics of social media (virality before nuance, bad takes to incite engagement, etc. etc.). So in November when I saw that DW was so alive I thought to give it a go since it looks like here people are passionate and still try to have a conversation.

I used to have... well, at least 27 fanlistings at some point ^^ plus other websites. But I didn't reach 100, that's a lot for sure!

[facethestrange]

Hoooooly crap what was your name and/or domain at TheFanlistings? :D Because YES most of my websites were fanlistings! :D (Though I also had several fansites over the years, and a personal website with like everything on it that I kept remaking and redesigning the layout, and a few social-justice-ish websites.) My fl collective (or what's left of it at archive.org). xD xD

I made my tumblr account in 2010 and I've used it pretty much all the time ever since to reblog things and leave comments in tags, but in 13 years I've had maybe 5 conversations there? And if you don't count people I already knew from somewhere else, it would probably be like... 1 conversation? xD